Born

I was born to laugh
I learned to laugh through my tears
I was born to love
I'm gonna learn to love without fear

Pour me a glass of wine
Talk deep into the night
Who knows what we'll find

Intuition, deja vu
The Holy Ghost haunting you
Whatever you got
I don't mind

Put your elbows on the table
I'll listen long as i am able
There's nowhere I'd rather be

Secret fears, the supernatural
Thank God for this new laughter
Thank God the joke's on me

We've seen the landfill rainbow
We've seen the junkyard of love
Baby it's no place for you and me

I was born to laugh
I learned to laugh through my tears
I was born to love
I'm gonna learn to love without fear

Over The Rhine, what the heck. I'm seeing you tomorrow most definitely.

SB in General

Spring Break was really awesome. So many things have happened that I really do feel like a completely different person now. Hmmm, and I just realized I don't feel like typing.

So yeah. I've been more selfish than I thought so I have completely changed my goals for life. God's really helped me out...so yup! Let's see what else happens!!! I'll write more later when I feel like it.

Lakehouse

Soooo many things to say but I can't remember most of it because I'm pretty tired.  International retreat = awesome.  Learning to longboard = amazing.  Hangin at the lakehouse = sweetness.  I am very excited for tomorrow.  

I just realized that this is a very pathetic post...  I'm sorry if you read this.  But as of right now, I have ONE person who reads this blog...so I'm not feeling too guilty about the quality of this post.  G'night!

Quick To Forget

Alright well I seemed to have forgotten all that I have learned in the past month.  I probably sound weird saying one thing one night and then saying something else the next day..but I'm in good hands.  There's no point in worrying since I can't change a thing, especially in these situations.  So I'm done worrying, and I can smile and let an awesome plan work out.

Fear

Alright, so I'm kind of new to this whole blogging thing.  I think I'm just going to talk about my day so far so here goes.  

It was one of those things where nothing bad really happened but you just feel really negative.  Like things have been so great the last week that now, anything less than great is like..."uhhh what's going on?  Why aren't things perfect?" But today reawakened, or at least, reminded me about something I struggle with more than I think.  Fear. 

I'm scared of my future.  I obviously can't predict the future and I'm trying to use God and the word as like a light, so I can see where I need to step.  But right now it feels like, there's no light anywhere and I need to take a step--but I don't know if it will be ground, or a cliff, or a bear-trap lined with explosives.  And I felt like since Indy-CC that since I've been working on my fear, that its been tamed to a point where I haven't been afraid like I used to be.  I've been trying to be a man.  And I thought it was starting to work.  BUT, all I did today was worry. 

 

I don't know where I'll be after Spring Break.  If I make it past that, I don't know what I'm going to do in my life with college. ROTC? I'm not good at anything here.  I don't want to do anything but music but I'm not good with that either.  And this is so personal but like, I'm so afraid I won't ever meet someone for me.  I'm on a date fast now and up to today, I've been pretty good with not worrying about anything related to that but man..I just feel like I'm screwed.  I honestly feel like my purpose doesn't involve anyone else.  That might sound weird.  It probably is weird. Whatever I don't know.  

I put myself in a very potentially life threatening situation to help protect someone I didn't know recently without a speck of fear in my heart.  I made myself vulnerable to a friend a few days ago and that's HUGE for me and my passive flesh.  I'll take two steps forward, and then fifty thousand back with a day like today.

Summary:  I don't feel like a man.  I feel like a kid.  I don't feel like I'm making much progress.  I feel like, at this rate, I won't ever be able to take care of anyone other than myself.  

Opening

Alright!! Nate Ballinger just talked me into making a blogspot of blogs and I think it's awesome! I will definitely write more later when I'm by myself. But I was just making this post to say: "Hello to all of you people!"

-Corey